3:04am
by sorryspence
Summary: A late night phone call, sadness, loneliness and an invitation.


_**Authors Note** : So, this is just a little oneshot that came up in my head... One of the things I find fascinating is the relationship between Sam and Josh. I've always imagined them to be close friends before Hannah and Beth disappeared and Josh started shutting himself off. I wanted to explore their relationship after the twins disappeared a little, and I hope it's okay like this. First story in this fandom, so I'm a bit nervous. If you like, let me know what you're thinking about it in a review or a PM. I'd love to get some feedback on it, so thanks already :) _

_**Disclaimer** : I don't own anything. Rated T to be safe. _

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******3:04 am******

A soft sigh escaped her mouth as she slowly opened her eyes. It was dark, her blanket warm enough for her to wish that she'd never have to get out of it ever, and for a moment she didn't know why she was awake at all. It seemed pretty early, the sun hadn't even come up.

Then her phone rang again.

She sighed again, squinted at the alarm clock (3:04 am – who on earth would call her at 3am?) and then turned around to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" Her tired mumble was met with silence.

"Hello? It's 3am, who is there?" "Sam?" Of course. She should have known, he always called in the middle of the night. And it wasn't like she didn't understand why. The middle of the night could be a pretty lonely time. "Yeah Josh, it's me. What's going on?"

For a moment, all she could hear were his quiet breaths, before he answered. "I… nothing's going on, I'm fine. Just wanted to… make sure if you were all right." There seemed to be more to it. His voice sounded tired, forced, even though he tried to give it a nonchalant tone. Sam sat up, leaned back against the headboard and drew the blanket under her chin. "I'm all right, Josh, everything is fine here. Was just sleeping…Are you sure that's the reason you called?" Suppressing a yawn, she closed her eyes once more.

"What? Ugh, yes, yes, of course, I just… I just couldn't sleep and… yeah, just wanted to hear that you're good… Guess I woke you up, huh, sorry about that… I'll let you get back to sleeping. Sorry." – "Waitwaitwaitwait, Josh, it's fine, really, I'm awake now. We can talk if you want to?" Again a moment of silence. "You sure?" "Mhm, I'm sure… Are you sure you're all right? You really don't sound like you're a happy bundle of well-being." This time, the sigh came from the other side of the line. "I… I don't know… I was just working on something and… well. I just couldn't sleep really." "How come? You said some time ago that you can hit the pillow and just… be asleep in like 10 seconds? But not tonight?" "… I… no, I… to be honest, I haven't slept that well ever since… you know…"

She did know. How could she forget that fateful day at the Washingtons winter getaway. Her best friends had disappeared, after their group of friends had played a prank on Hannah. Humiliated, she had run out into the woods, and her twin sister Beth followed her. Neither of them had come back, and neither had been found by the police the days after. No one knew what had happened. Sam swallowed. She'd cried a lot, felt guilty and after a while given up the hope that they would be found all right. And even so, she couldn't even assume what Josh would go through. Hannah and Beth were his sisters, and they had been quite close. "Oh Josh…", she breathed.

"Yeah, I know… it's been quite a while and I should be over it, right? I mean, it's not like it's going to bring them back or anything… It doesn't really matter to be sorry, does it?" Sam bit down on her lip. "No, it won't bring them back… but… Josh, it's okay to still be upset about it. They are your sisters, and you miss them. It's not so easy to just 'get over it'". Bitter laughter from the other end of the line that had Sam pull the blanked tighter around her. "Yeah, tell me about it… that's just so fucked up, isn't it? I mean, it shouldn't take this long, they're dead and gone, nothing can change that, so why bother with it?" "Josh – " "I mean, it doesn't help at all, thinking about it, thinking about them, thinking about all those fucking what ifs… I mean, what if they hadn't run out there, what if I hadn't been off my face so badly? I could have followed them, but no, I had to get sloshed. Fuck."

For a moment Sam wondered how many people knew this side of Josh. Did any of their friends know how he felt? That he blamed himself, even though it wasn't his fault? She tried to say something, anything, but he was talking again. "You know, I just keep wondering, what if you guys never had played that stupid prank? We could have had so much fun… And they had been so happy when all of you confirmed that you were coming, and now they're gone, and they're dead, and they were my sisters, Sam! And I just… I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to sleep. But… I guess it doesn't matter, does it? It's all just a fucked up moment that happened, and now I need to pick up the pieces. That fucking prank… Fuck, I'm so tired… I don't even really know what I'm talking about anymore… Sorry. I should let you get your sleep…" "I… Josh… I'm so sorry… Don't hang up, please, I.. I don't really know what to say… It wasn't your fault Josh. Whatever happened to them, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know what was going to happen, you didn't send them out there, and…" He huffed into the phone. "Are you saying it's their fault? Hannahs? Or Beths?" "No, no, of course not, but… I just think that… things happened… and it doesn't really help to blame people for it…" Silence.

"I… guess. Of course you'd say that." It was hard to read his tone and suddenly Sam wished she could see him. "Josh -" she tried to add something, but he interrupted her again. "Look, Sam, it's pretty late, why don't you go to sleep, and we'll talk sometime else again, yeah? Maybe not in the middle of the night or so." Shit, she thought. She'd said the wrong thing. Lately, she couldn't get through to him anymore, he was closing himself off more and more every time they talked. "Josh…" "No, Sam, I really should go and sleep. Thanks for answering the phone. I'm… sorry again for waking you. I shouldn't have called you. See you around." "O-okay. I'm… I guess I'll see you later then. Try and sleep, okay? Don't think too much." She hesitated, before she added: "And you can call me anytime, okay? I don't mind, really." He was quiet for a while. "I… thanks. I… really appreciate that. See you." Without waiting for her reply, he hung up.

Sam let the hand with her phone drop into her lap and stared ahead without seeing something. She really hoped that Josh could be okay again, someday.

The next day, she received Josh's invitation for a holiday in the Washingtons winter lodge, for the exact date that Beth and Hannah had disappeared.


End file.
